Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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