dude i'm inner monologue high
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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