dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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