i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize