so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
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He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
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He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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