Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
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I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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