He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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