3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
how drunk are you?
Several
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
