Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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