Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?