he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
And the cops told us we were all naked.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.