but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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