sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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