i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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