I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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