you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
they're like a gay fantastic four
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
