cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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