i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So many bounce houses so little time
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
