Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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