So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
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we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
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Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.