Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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