I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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