She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize