God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.