The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy