So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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