I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY