I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY