i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
