chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
