So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
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Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
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Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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