It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
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You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.