if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen