You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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