i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
