You're completely useless in the revolution.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
FUCK WHALES
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
