My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize