Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
