Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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