your room smells of hookers.
And success
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
