You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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