I'm lost and stupid without you.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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