After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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