I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
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the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
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I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Drunk is not a location!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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