i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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