well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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