my vag is so smooth its legendary
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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