You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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