yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can feel your judgement through the phone