That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.