Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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