I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
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I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
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Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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