On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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