i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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