I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
